Day 31 - "Happy" Anniversary

I am a procrastinator.  I am a procrastinator with what perhaps works out to a 99% success rate - meaning that even when I wait until the last minute, I can generally produce a really good result from the Long Wait.  I am convinced that I'm not married to a similar person in this regard.

"I need to update this resume because I have to submit my renewal tomorrow," The New Husband said.

We'd just finished dinner.  I put the resume on the coffee table and grabbed a pen and started making some changes.  "These dates don't make any sense," I said, "Who did this?"
"I don't know," he said, shrugging.

"What do you mean you don't know who did your resume?  When was the last time it was updated?"

"A really long time ago.  I mean, I've been at my current job for almost three years and then the job before that was four years, so..." he paused, "I guess it's been at least seven years since I updated it."

"Are you insane?"

"Possibly."

All of the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put this resume back together again.  Let me tell you...he had end dates that were well before start dates and I discovered times where he'd worked a job for like a month and then went to another one for a month.  This is very much not the person I married, who has stayed at jobs for years.  Then, I realized, that a lot of the job hopping was right after his senior year work-study program ended. 

"I can't make sense of this," I said.  "We have to go through the entire thing and work to find these dates.  Just know that you'll come up with discrepancies on your background check, so you can 't just make up dates."

"But I don't know them!" he yelled.  I could tell this wasn't going to go well.

"I don't know what to tell you.  You can't not update your resume for seven years and then hand it to me the night before you need it and expect it to make sense when it wasn't done correctly in the first place."

Needless to say, the rest of our evening was him freaking out about the dates and me opting not to deal with it and reading a book.  "I'm not going to help you if you're going to yell at me.  This wasn't my fault.  Go yell at whoever did this to your resume."

In the end, he decided to ask his boss for the copy he submitted the last time he needed to do a renewal since we know that passed the background check.  Hopefully he has it, and we can use it to revise his resume so we don't have to go through this again.  Short of that, he may need to contact the employers himself and verify employment.  I can tell you, that's not going to be any fun for anyone involved.