After some confusion about where exactly we were supposed to be hanging out yesterday afternoon (our building's billiards room) and what kind of hot sauce we were supposed to bring for the buffalo chicken dip (we settled on Frank's), we made our way to the party to celebrate our friend Nic's upcoming birthday. We [okay, I] gorged ourselves on dip - artichoke spinach, buffalo chicken, Mexican bean, and fresh salsa with cilantro.
Much of the afternoon was spent BS'ing, eating, and throwing back some beers (mostly the guys) and champagne and wine (for me). We watched the Red Sox game while booing Texas at the appropriate times and the guys spent most of their time watching Nic's daughter so she could enjoy her "Mommy Free Day".
Somehow the conversation switched to being pregnant and the process of labor. Since I'm not the person who can have an 'oops' since I can't just get pregnant; it's a more involved process, I found this conversation astounding, really. The brutal honesty in the room made me laugh at times and at others, made me seriously consider whether this is something I could really see myself doing. "I don't think I'll even be ready to think about it til I'm 35," I told the room.
Hearing about the woes and costs of daycare pretty much cemented the deal for me.
Later, when we got back to our own apartment, I said, "New Husband, will you still love me if I'm never ready to have kids?"
"Of course."
"Is it something you feel you have to do or like your life won't be complete or something?"
"Of course not. And besides, my life is complete."
"Oh come on, I'm being serious."
"I am too. Look, having a kid isn't going to make or break me. I could have one or not. I don't feel strongly about it either way."
"But you're so good with kids. I mean, look at how great you were today with Nic's daughter."
"Yeah, but we feel the same way about them, it's nice to give them back too."
"You know, I'm wondering how the hell people even afford kids. Did you hear that woman say that she pays $600/month for three days a week of daycare? I don't even know how we'd pay that!"
"People have kids all the time and figure that stuff out later. No one is ever really ready for them."
"I guess. I dunno. That one lady said she paid like $50 out of pocket for in vitro. We have the same insurance."
"Well, if and when you're ready we'll check it out."
"I think the order should be house, dog, kid."
He laughed, "You're such a planner."
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